Back To The Pretend World

I’m done.

This is the last article from Exceptional Delaware.  This is why.

I have to go back to the pretend world.  Some folks confuse this with the real world.  The places we live where we are oblivious to the forces around us.  This is most of us.  We read things and watch TV.  We get our kids to school and work.  We wake up, go through the day and go to bed.  I used to live in this world.  I thought it was the real one.

The real world, as I’ve discovered the past four plus years, is filled with darkness and despair.  It is filled with secrets and lies.  In my quest to expose that world, I became dangerously close to becoming a part of that world.

The lengths I almost went to were not only dangerous but also foolhardy.  For the person who got the email from me last weekend- don’t get a big head.  That was a trap.  If you honestly believed that I would EVER support you, I wasn’t  For the former elected official who I found out some very damning information about- you have no idea how close that came to being made public and the final step that would have brought me to that.  For the countless people I’ve been writing about- those who commit fraud and theft and waste and abuse- you need to live with the things you’ve done.  My days of chasing you are finished.  For the cover-uppers and those who seek to hide the truth- you won.  There is enough material on this blog that should warrant massive investigations and criminal activity.  But the real world looks away.

I am spent.  I need to get a job.  I need to pay rent and pay bills.  I need to get my son’s IEP back on track.  I need to be a father.  I need to forget the sound and smell of all I have learned and go back to that pretend world where I just don’t know these things.  I don’t know if I can ever truly get back.  When you see truths as I have, it becomes a part of you.  It darkens your soul.  It turns hope into bitterness.  After all these years I discovered something about myself- I don’t have the stomach for it.  A self-sufficient machine.  I put it all on the line at times and I paid a heavy price.

I did see light at times.  Tucked away in the darkness.  I saw many good people beginning to awaken from the pretend world.  There were many who refused to even want to see the real world.  For them, I bear no ill will.  I am jealous.

It got to a point where I was able to find the rules and find where they weren’t being followed.  I felt obligated to report it, whenever I could.  But at the end of the day, the rules don’t matter without enforcement.  Sometimes the rules are written in such a way they can be broken.  People get away with things while others get dragged through the system with no one to fight for them.  Families are broken while the elite stay in power.  People are destroyed for doing what is right.

Don’t believe everything you hear.  Look between the cracks.  If there is one thing I’ve learned it is this essential truth- we are manipulated every single day.  Even in the lies there is manipulation.  I found the cracks.  I found the truth.  I honestly don’t know what scares me more- what I found or what is to come.  And it is coming.  All I want is to get my son through school and help prepare him as best I can for the future.

I don’t know if I will ever write like this again.  I love writing.  But I can’t do it like this anymore.  Perhaps someone will take the baton and run with it.  God knows there is a ton of materials.  I’ll leave this up.  As a testament to a part of my life where I hoped I could make a difference.  Maybe I did in some areas but the price was the part of me where I used to believe in hope and that goodness would prevail.

While this may seem sudden, it has been brewing since the day I started this blog.  I hope to keep the friends I made along the way.  For those who know me, you know what I stand for.  But very few can see into a man’s soul.  Sometimes we express it in our eyes.  It’s time to pretend.

9 thoughts on “Back To The Pretend World

  1. Kevin, I hear you loud and clear. I so appreciate the work you have done. As we both know Delaware is a crucible of what is coming and it’s not good. Do what you have to do for your own health and your family. If you find an erase button, let me know. There are many days when I wish I had never gone down these rabbit holes. Know you are appreciated. Stay safe, ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kevin,
    I have never met you, but I follow your quest for answers and the truth, and I have been inspired along the way to push back a little. Not in the grand scheme that you have done, but in my own small corner. While I am sad that I will not have you to look up to and the parents and teachers who really want to make a difference will not have their biggest ally, I completely understand the need for self preservation. I hope that you can drop the veil back into place and go back to how it was before… for your sake and your son’s. Please don’t stay away though.

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  3. I have followed you for quite a while and will miss all of the truths you have written about. The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself and your son. Protect him from the two faced manipulators. You know I have rarely posted anything out of fear of retaliation and I totally understand your decision. Be well.

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  4. Kevin-This is terrible news for those of us who believe your quest for truth is worthy and honorable. However, the pain and outrage has always been present in your writing voice, it must be exhausting. Your mental health and family come first, I wish you all the best and hope you find peace of mind. Thank you for speaking the truth so fearlessly!

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  5. I completely understand where you are. But I do hope that you will find it in your heart to write again one day. Take a break. You deserve it. You are a huge asset to this State and there are many that appreciate all you have done. I am one of them. So glad we have become friends.

    Lisa

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  6. I honestly believe the article you wrote on me protected me from retaliation by Gorman and the District. Thank you again and thank you for all you have done for the citizens of Delaware. God speed sir.

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  7. The work that you did was important and you made people think. Unfortunately, fighting the system, especially one that is heading in the wrong direction at the Federal and State level is an effort similar to Sisyphus punishment by the gods. I did not alway agree with you (the funding to do all of the things needed for special education is just not there), but I looked forward to your research and reporting and believed you a person of integrity. Pulling back the curtain on back room deals with large corporations and the growing of Demigod personalities as local leaders of “public education” is something you do not walk away from unscathed. BTW, I have always found it curious that such a “blue” state as Delaware is soooo pro-charter and supportive of corporate running of schools vs. the support of actual teachers and true public schools. I have paid a small price compared to you for opening my mouth on occasion with simple suggestions or ideas, nowhere near your blowback. I’ve had peers and so called friends turn on me very quickly because of not supporting party line and threatened to lose my job, benefits, etc. At the end of the day, your family, your enjoyment of life and your health come first. Perhaps you will enter the fight another day in the future. Thank you for your hard work and dedication. As the other writer said, God speed sir!

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