Yesterday, NBC Philadelphia reported the strange news of a runaway emu that caused a “soft” lockdown of Spring Meadow Early Childhood Center in Middletown. I took it upon myself to expand on the story to find out what this new and latest threat to Delaware education actually is. Luckily, it is not a Rodel spawned creation or something seeping out of the Townshend Buiilding which houses the Delaware Department of Education. According to the San Diego Zoo, an emu is:
Tall and majestic, the emu belongs to a group of flightless running birds known as ratites, the most primitive of the modern bird families. The ratite family includes the kiwi, ostrich, cassowary, and rhea, all birds found only in the Southern Hemisphere. The emu is the second-largest living bird in the world (the ostrich is the largest). Adult female emus are larger and heavier than the males.
How does a flightless running bird found primarily in Australia wind up in Middletown, Delaware? Turns out it escaped from its owner and police and animal control officers have been looking for the emu for months. I had a rare chance to talk to the emu, and it told me it resented being in captivity. It has been actively seeking Delaware students because the emu feels they are in the same boat.
I opted out of being tied to one place. Like the students in Delaware who are tied to one test, I sought freedom from an oppressive regime. In essence, I opted out and I think all kids in Delaware should as well. I tried to talk to my previous owner about honoring my rights, but he vetoed my suggestion. I am seeking to have my friends overturn that decision.
When I asked the emu to please consider not causing any more problems, it simply ran away again shouting “Opt Out Now!”. I have a feeling it will be back again.
The Season Of Myths 