Who Shot The Blogger? The Uhm, Winner Revealed! And the Shocking Twist!

*please note, the final suspect of the Who Shot The Blogger storyline is not really a suspect of anything but destroying public education in Delaware, letting a lot of money go to waste at our DOE, and I’m sure other people can think of other stuff.

Before we reveal who did me in, let’s go back to the police station!

Chief: Officer, I saw the results.  We have to make an arrest.  You ready?

Investigating Officer: I sure am Chief.  I was shocked.

Chief: He was my first pick.  I’m sure governors don’t like FOIA requests.

Investigating Officer: Yeah, but here’s the thing.  The blogger is still alive.

Chief: What did you say Officer Clueless?

Investigating Officer: We worked together on this.  We thought it would drag you out.

Chief: Drag me out of what Officer Soon To Be A Priority Cop?

Investigating Officer: Your affiliation with these evil bastards.

Chief: What are you talking about Donut Boy?

Investigating Officer: We know. I heard you talking on the phone before Christmas, to your master.

Chief: My wife?

Investigating Officer: No, Paul Herdman.

Chief: I’ve never talked to that guy in my life.

Investigating Officer: Don’t lie to me.  I wrote it all down. “I’m calling about joining your Vision Network.  I think we can make some changes.  When I’m reading, I can’t see Exceptional.” You do read his blog.  And you joined Herdman’s Vision thing.

Chief: You have got to be the stupidest son of a bitch to ever walk this planet.  I was calling the insurance company.  I need glasses you moron. You cooked all this up for that?

Investigating Officer: Oh my God.  I’m so embarrassed.  Can you forgive me?

Chief: But where’s the blogger?  I haven’t seen him, and whose body is that in the morgue?

Investigating Officer: We blocked his IP address from any computer or iPod you have, so you couldn’t see his new posts.  The guy in the morgue is some homeless hunter who we found behind Target.

Chief: You are suspended thirty days without pay Officer Hope You Like Dr. Oz.

Investigating Officer: I’m so sorry about this.

Chief: Get out of here you jackass!

The officer left and the Chief picked up the phone.

Chief: It’s me.  I know all about the plan.  I knew from the beginning.  He no longer has access to any computers.  He was getting too close anyways.

Unknown Voice: And he will stop writing? 

Chief: I think so.  Officer Kavips has been rendered mute at this point Governor Markell.

Markell: Thank you for all your hard work Chief Publius…

 

Who Shot The Blogger? The Grand Championship! Penny Schwinn vs. Governor Markell!

After weeks of suspense, we are down to the final two suspects of who shot me on New Years Eve 2014.  I know, it didn’t happen.  And this is all fake, but this little social experiment sure does show where thousands of voters view education in this state.

Will the priority princess from Cali win the championship?  Or will Governor “Thanks to Rodel” Markell take the prize?  What is more important to voters: the one pressuring the schools with marching orders, or the one who initiated the plan in the first place?  The winner (if you want to call it that) will be announced on Monday!

Who Shot The Blogger? The Final Four! Murphy vs. Markell, May vs. Schwinn! Vote NOW!!!

We are down to the final four!  On one side is two ladies from the Delaware DOE: Penny Schwinn and Alison May.  I have to honestly say I didn’t think May would make it this far.  I predicted the other round before I even started this: Governor Jack Markell vs. Mark Murphy.  Who will make it to the end?  You decide!  This will run for two days, and then the grand whodunnit will determine who ended me!  As usual, this is completely fiction and is for amusement purposes only and none of the “suspects” involved have been accused of a violent crime.

Who Shot The Blogger? The Not So Amazing Eight! Vote Now! Markell Vs. Herdman!!!!

We are down to the last eight suspects out of the original 32.  Eliminated in the last round was Family Foundations “On Leave” Head of School Sean Moore, “Resigned” Academy of Dover Head of School Noel Rodriguez, Delaware DOE/Ex Charter School Office Executive Director John Carwell, Kilroy’s Commenter and Charter School loving Publius, DE State Board of Education President “I’m on the board of a company the DOE pays for services” Dr. Teri Quinn Gray, Ex Providence Creek & Campus Community Head of School & current President of Delaware Charter Schools Network Chuck Taylor, “Segregation is just a myth” Delaware Charter Schools Network Director Kendall Massett, and finally, Kilroy’s commenter Greg the Crab Bucket guy.

The final four polls have some very interesting battles.  A deputy secretary vs. the public informations officer.  The final anonymous Kilroy’s blog commenter vs. the Priority Schools Diva.  The “Rigor” Skipper Governor vs. the “non-profit” director.  The bewildering and unpopular Gilligan wannabe Secretary of Education vs. the guy who plots and plans how to make public school districts ineffective.  I am very interested to see who makes it to the final four.  The polls will run for three days.

 

 

 

 

*as always with this farce of an unreal situation, none of the suspects are actually violent people.  This is pure satire on my part, and I didn’t really get shot and killed or I wouldn’t be typing this.  I love all these people, like I love gum on my shoe.  They are a part of the landscape for education in Delaware.  That reminds me, I need to do some weeding….

 

 

 

 

 

Who Shot The Blogger? Down To The Sweet 16! Who advanced and who was eliminated?

We are down to the Sweet 16!  Many hard-core eliminations in Round 1.  Here are those who have been cleared as suspects: Danielle Blount, Audrey Erschen, Senator Gregory Lavelle, Dale Brown, Pete Kramer, Brian Touchette, lastDEconservative, Arne Duncan, Pat Heffernan, Donna Johnson, Janet Miller, Vincent Winterling, Ryan Fennerty, Mary-Ann Mieczkowski, and Matthew Albright.

Now we go down to the next round, which will only run for 3 days!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*as always with this farce of an unreal situation, none of the suspects are actually violent people.  This is pure satire on my part, and I didn’t really get shot and killed or I wouldn’t be typing this.  I love all these people, like I love gum on my shoe.  They are a part of the landscape for education in Delaware.  That reminds me, I need to do some weeding….