Back To The Pretend World

I’m done.

This is the last article from Exceptional Delaware.  This is why.

I have to go back to the pretend world.  Some folks confuse this with the real world.  The places we live where we are oblivious to the forces around us.  This is most of us.  We read things and watch TV.  We get our kids to school and work.  We wake up, go through the day and go to bed.  I used to live in this world.  I thought it was the real one.

The real world, as I’ve discovered the past four plus years, is filled with darkness and despair.  It is filled with secrets and lies.  In my quest to expose that world, I became dangerously close to becoming a part of that world.

The lengths I almost went to were not only dangerous but also foolhardy.  For the person who got the email from me last weekend- don’t get a big head.  That was a trap.  If you honestly believed that I would EVER support you, I wasn’t  For the former elected official who I found out some very damning information about- you have no idea how close that came to being made public and the final step that would have brought me to that.  For the countless people I’ve been writing about- those who commit fraud and theft and waste and abuse- you need to live with the things you’ve done.  My days of chasing you are finished.  For the cover-uppers and those who seek to hide the truth- you won.  There is enough material on this blog that should warrant massive investigations and criminal activity.  But the real world looks away.

I am spent.  I need to get a job.  I need to pay rent and pay bills.  I need to get my son’s IEP back on track.  I need to be a father.  I need to forget the sound and smell of all I have learned and go back to that pretend world where I just don’t know these things.  I don’t know if I can ever truly get back.  When you see truths as I have, it becomes a part of you.  It darkens your soul.  It turns hope into bitterness.  After all these years I discovered something about myself- I don’t have the stomach for it.  A self-sufficient machine.  I put it all on the line at times and I paid a heavy price.

I did see light at times.  Tucked away in the darkness.  I saw many good people beginning to awaken from the pretend world.  There were many who refused to even want to see the real world.  For them, I bear no ill will.  I am jealous.

It got to a point where I was able to find the rules and find where they weren’t being followed.  I felt obligated to report it, whenever I could.  But at the end of the day, the rules don’t matter without enforcement.  Sometimes the rules are written in such a way they can be broken.  People get away with things while others get dragged through the system with no one to fight for them.  Families are broken while the elite stay in power.  People are destroyed for doing what is right.

Don’t believe everything you hear.  Look between the cracks.  If there is one thing I’ve learned it is this essential truth- we are manipulated every single day.  Even in the lies there is manipulation.  I found the cracks.  I found the truth.  I honestly don’t know what scares me more- what I found or what is to come.  And it is coming.  All I want is to get my son through school and help prepare him as best I can for the future.

I don’t know if I will ever write like this again.  I love writing.  But I can’t do it like this anymore.  Perhaps someone will take the baton and run with it.  God knows there is a ton of materials.  I’ll leave this up.  As a testament to a part of my life where I hoped I could make a difference.  Maybe I did in some areas but the price was the part of me where I used to believe in hope and that goodness would prevail.

While this may seem sudden, it has been brewing since the day I started this blog.  I hope to keep the friends I made along the way.  For those who know me, you know what I stand for.  But very few can see into a man’s soul.  Sometimes we express it in our eyes.  It’s time to pretend.